Welcome to Vera’s Blog!

Over the many years that I’ve been a therapist, I’ve worked with clients who have all sorts of goals. But there’s one goal that’s been more common than any other: having a loving relationship.

This doesn’t surprise me.

After all, as humans, we’re social beings. And we’re wired to connect and bond with other people. So it makes perfect sense that many of us want to have someone that we can share our lives with.

But whether you’re currently searching for love or navigating life with a partner, you know that finding a loving relationship isn’t necessarily easy.

This isn’t for the reason you might think, though.

You see, many of my clients believe that finding love is hard because you have to track down the one person on Earth who’s your perfect fit. And then, you have to hope that the stars align to make your relationship successful.

In reality, though, these aren’t the reasons why love is hard to find. After all,...

We all have something we want in life. For example, you might be looking for a loving relationship that makes you feel safe and valued.

Alternatively, maybe you’d like to wake up each day feeling happier or more fulfilled.

Or perhaps you want to feel more confident about standing up for yourself with members of your extended family.

Whatever it is, you might be crystal clear on WHAT it is that you want. And you might even have some ideas about HOW to make it happen.

But despite this, you’re having a hard time actually achieving your goal or fulfilling your desire. And in some cases, you might even struggle to take the first step.

And for that reason, you might be wondering, “Why can’t I…?”

I know what it’s like because it’s a question I used to ask myself all the time after my marriage ended years ago. I would often think, “Why can’t I just feel happy?”, “Why can’t I find a partner who’s right for...

In my last post—Post #3 in my Taking Care of Me series—I told you how to amplify your motivation to go after your goals and dreams.

As I’m sure you’ve realized, though, you don’t pursue your goals and dreams in a vacuum. Instead, you do it in the context of everything else that’s going on in your life—your career, your social life, and (perhaps most importantly) your relationship with your partner.

After all, if you decide that you want to quit your job and go back to school so you can change careers, you’ll need to talk to your partner about how this decision will affect your family’s finances.

Similarly, if you decide that you want to take up Pilates and attend a class by yourself two nights a week, you’ll need to have a conversation with your partner about blocking off that time in your schedule.

In other words, you’ll need to tell your partner what your needs are and put boundaries in place to protect your time,...

Whether you’ve written it down in a journal, shared it on social media, or just kept it close to your heart, I know that there’s something in life that you want to achieve or create.

For example, maybe you want to start dating again after taking time away from relationships to heal after a difficult breakup.

Or maybe you want to finally start your own business after spending years working for other people and helping them achieve their dreams (but not your own).

Getting closer to living the life you want does wonders for you. After all, when you’re living a life that aligns with your goals and desires, you’re more likely to wake up in the morning feeling happy, excited, and fulfilled. And when you’re radiating these positive emotions, it doesn’t just make YOUR life awesome. It also spills over into your relationship and allows you to be a more loving, open, and present with others you love.

But even if you know what you want, how do you get closer...

No matter who you are and where you live, this is a challenging time. We’re all dealing with a lot of uncertainty and fear of the unknown. And unfortunately, that can often be the perfect recipe for bringing up negative emotions.

After all, if you don’t know what the future has in store for you, you might feel anxious or stressed. And if you’re constantly stressed, it’s easy to get triggered by people or events and end up feeling irritated, angry, or sad. This doesn’t just make it hard to feel happy day-to-day and satisfied with your life. It can also compromise your relationships by making you more irritable and more reactive when interacting with your partner—even if your negative emotions have nothing to do with them.

I know this all too well because it’s something I experienced when my marriage ended and I spent months wallowing in sadness, self-pity, and shame. My emotions definitely affected me and how I felt about myself. But they...

The holidays have been over for only about a month or so. But even if you had time to relax and gear up for the new year, you might not be feeling like your best self right now.

This makes sense. After all, you might be feeling the effects of Earth changes and the energies of the full moon. And on top of all that, there’s still a global pandemic to deal with!

So just like what I hear from my clients, I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me that you’ve been feeling less than stellar these days. For example, you might be…

• extra stressed because you’re going crazy while working from home and trying to supervise remote learning for your kids at the same time
• feeling burned out from always worrying about everyone else’s needs and putting your own on the backburner
• less motivated to chase your dreams because the pandemic has affected your life in big ways and you don’t know when your luck is going to turn around
• especially emotional because...

Has anyone ever told you to “just be yourself?” Have you ever really questioned what that really means? What does that look and feel like?

 The reason this may feel foreign to you is like many of us, we grew up with an inflicted idea of how our life should be and how it should turn out. From a young age we were told what the requirements are for the perfect life, such as going to school, getting an education, finding a full-time job, making money, find a significant other, get married, have kids and a perfect family. 

 Because we know no other, in order to achieve what we feel will bring us fulfillment, joy and happiness we do whatever it takes to try to achieve this false dream. We put everyone’s needs before our own, we keep ourselves exhausted, busy and stressed. We try to “keep up with the joneses” by working harder to gain more tangible items, see our family less and at the end of the day we’re too tired to invest in the...

Wow, can you believe that it’s already 2020??? Last year flew by so quickly for me. And I bet it did for you too. 

However, the beginning of a new year always reminds me to reflect on old goals and make new ones. What about you? What seeds of intention will you plant for the forthcoming year so you can embrace 2020 and all the opportunity it holds? 

To be clear, I’m not talking about “classic” New Year’s resolutions here. I’m talking about what your deepest and most heartfelt desires are. What are your dreams and visions? What changes are you thinking about making in your relationships, your health, your finances, your career, your lifestyle, or your spirituality? 

The intentions you hold and the foundations you build NOW will set the tone for the journey ahead and will control the flow of energy in your life over the next few years. 

Whatever you can dream, you can create! Your future begins now! 

Turning Your Focus...

 If you talk to anyone who’s achieved ANYTHING big—whether it was finding a better job, losing weight, making a stable income, or eating a healthy diet—you’ll find that they have 2 things in common:

 1) They didn’t wait for “perfect timing”—they just took action.

2) They got help on their way to the top.

Why We Get Stuck in Negative Cycles—Like Waiting for “Perfect Timing”

One key reason why many of us get so stuck in negative cycles and wait for “perfect timing” is that we have high and unrealistic expectations of ourselves. If you often forget to stay in the present moment, ask yourself this: “Where am I in my life right now?” or “Am I able to do the same thing I could do years ago?” 

You might be older, have struggled with disturbing events, have more responsibilities, experienced big life changes, or had major/minor health issues. The life events you’ve...