SELF-CARE: 6 Signs That You’re Burned Out and Not Just “Tired” + FREE Self-Love Weekly Planner
Sometimes people recognize the importance of self-love for the first time when they hit rock bottom.
If you’ve been part of my community for some time, you probably know that this is what happened to me.
Years and years ago, I was in the process of divorcing my ex-husband. But it wasn’t just the divorce that I was dealing with. My visa status was also up in the air, and I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep living in the US. I felt devastated, hopeless, and completely lost.
In my situation, there were tangible stressors—divorce and immigration issues—that I was dealing with. But the real reason why I felt so hopeless at the time was that I had lost myself in my marriage and hadn’t made the effort to prioritize my needs. In other words, I hadn’t taken the time to build and nurture a relationship with myself. And I learned this the really, really hard way by truly hitting rock bottom.
The truth, though, is that in many cases, the signs that you need to give yourself more love and care are more subtle.
For example, if you’ve been feeling tired, overwhelmed, uninspired, or dissatisfied lately, you might think that you’re just not passionate enough about the things that supposedly matter to you or not motivated enough to achieve your goals.
But it’s also possible that because of a lack of attention toward what you truly want and need, you’re actually experiencing burnout. Because we’re living in a particularly stressful time, burnout is something that many people are experiencing these days. And it wouldn’t be surprising if you are too.
So if you’ve been feeling drained, sluggish, unmotivated, or dissatisfied lately and can’t really figure out why, this post is for you. Because in it, I share 6 subtle but important signs of burnout.
Here we go!
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What Is Burnout?
Before we get into the signs of burnout, let’s quickly chat about what burnout actually is.
Burnout is mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that often comes along with reduced motivation and a decreased sense of accomplishment. It’s typically caused by excessive, chronic stress.
We all experience stress on a frequent basis. So you might be wondering when stress leads to burnout.
When you experience any kind of stressor (whether it’s someone cutting you off on the drive to work or having to deliver an important presentation at work), your body produces a stress response. As part of this response, your body releases a hormone called cortisol.
In small amounts, cortisol is really useful because it prepares you mentally and physically to respond to the stressor. In the driving example, cortisol helps you react quickly and swerve to avoid a collision. And in the work example, cortisol focuses your attention and boosts your productivity so you can prepare effectively for the presentation. Once the danger on the road has passed or you’ve delivered your presentation, your body stops the stress response and reduces the release of cortisol.
Sometimes, though, the stressor lingers. This might happen if you’re dealing with ongoing challenges or stress at work, you’re caring for someone who’s been in the hospital for months, or you’re balancing work and childcare responsibilities. When the stressor lingers, your body’s stress response remains activated and your body keeps pumping out more and more cortisol.
Eventually, your stress response system burns right out just like a car or hair dryer that’s been pushed past its limits. When this happens, your body stops releasing cortisol at the level it needs to be focused, motivated, and productive. This is when you start to feel the exhaustion, sense of overwhelm, and lack of inspiration that can affect many areas of your life and even cause physical health problems.
If you’re thinking that burnout is something you’d want to avoid or catch in its early stages, you’re right. But the challenge is that the signs of burnout can be subtle and sneaky. This is why many people don’t recognize them until they’re on the verge of full-blown burnout.
As I’ll be diving into in my next blog post, the keys to avoiding or recovering from burnout largely come down to taking time to pause, re-establish balance, and implement boundaries. But to do this, you need to know when you’re headed toward burnout or already experiencing it.
So let’s talk about 6 key signs of burnout to watch out for:
1. Chronic Exhaustion
As I mentioned earlier, burnout is mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. So it’s not surprising that a key sign of burnout is feeling chronically exhausted. This means that you don’t just feel exhausted on days when you’ve had an exceptionally busy day at work or have been running errands around town all day in the heat. Instead, with burnout, you experience the exhaustion on a relatively continuous basis for weeks, months, or even years.
Because this kind of exhaustion is more than the fatigue you’d expect to experience from just having a busy or tiring day, you can’t simply sleep it off by going to bed early or sleeping in on the weekend. Instead, the exhaustion follows you from day to day, and it can feel like you’re actually carrying a physical weight on your shoulders.
2. Lack of Motivation Or Dissatisfaction
Another common sign of burnout is having a lack of motivation or dissatisfaction. For example, if your burnout is related to work stress, you might dread going in to work every morning and question why you’re still doing it. Similarly, if your burnout is related to taking care of your kids, you might have a hard time getting up in the morning on days that you’re with the kids alone. And you might find that instead of enjoying your days with your kids like you used to, every hour feels painful.
Of course, everyone has days when they would rather stay tucked into their cozy bed. And it’s normal to not love your job, taking care of your kids, or another responsibility every single minute. But when you consistently feel unmotivated and dissatisfied, it’s a sign of burnout.
3. Low Productivity Or Poor Performance
When you’re exhausted all the time and feeling unmotivated and dissatisfied, it’s hard to stay focused on a task and remember simple details about it even when it’s important or you really need to get it done. And so even though you might really want to be the best employee or the best parent you can be, you might have a hard time actually fulfilling this desire.
For example, you might find that you’re constantly forgetting about meetings or missing deadlines at work, even though you used to be very reliable. Similarly, you might struggle to really be present and actively engage with your kids because your mind keeps wandering when you’re taking care of them. Eventually, your reduced capacity to be as productive or perform as well as you used to might diminish your confidence in your abilities and only fuel your burnout.
4. Irritability
We all have days when we’re more short-tempered than usual because we’re unusually stressed about something. But having a short fuse on a regular basis is a sign of burnout. If you’re experiencing burnout, you might find that even the smallest things frustrate you or that every day seems like an endless series of irritating events.
If you feel burned out about work, for instance, you might find that you lack the patience to cope with even the most minor problems on the job. Similarly, if you’re burned out as a parent, you might have a tendency to snap at your kids whenever they do something that’s even slightly challenging to deal with.
5. Changes in Sleep and Eating
When you’re exhausted, lacking motivation, and not feeling like yourself, it can be harder to maintain healthy daily routines, like eating a balanced diet and getting a good night’s sleep. That’s why another key sign of burnout is a change in your eating or sleeping habits.
When you’re burned out, you might eat more or less than you usually do. You might also eat fewer healthier foods and more junk food. And when it comes to sleep, you might find yourself sleeping way more or way less than you usually do.
6. Physical Health Issues
You might think of burnout as something that primarily affects your mental health. But the reality is that when you’re chronically exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically, it can take a toll on your physical health too.
In fact, burnout can increase your chances of developing a variety of physical health conditions, such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, musculoskeletal pain, respiratory problems, gastrointestinal issues, and headaches. It can also make you more vulnerable to infections and increase your risk of dying before the age of 45.
Signs of Burnout Or Depression?
You might be looking at the signs of burnout above and thinking, “Hmmm…those look a lot like the symptoms of depression. So what’s the difference between burnout and depression?”
It’s true that many of the signs of burnout and symptoms of depression overlap. However, burnout tends to develop in response to a specific situation or environment, such as stress at work or the demands of being a stay-at-home parent, for example. Depression, on the other hand, tends to be more global.
This is why people with burnout often feel better when they’re able to get away from the situation or environment that’s causing the stress. This usually isn’t the case with depression.
Of course, because burnout can lead to long-term exhaustion, diminish your motivation and satisfaction in an area of life that matters to you, and make it hard to feel like yourself, it can lead to depression. Depression can also lead to burnout by making it easier for stress to overwhelm you mentally, emotionally, and physically. So if you’re experiencing burnout or depression, it’s important to watch for signs of the other condition too.
It’s Easier to Recognize Burnout When You Know What It Looks Like
Burnout can slowly exhaust you to the point where it’s tough to be the person you want to be in an important area of your life. And over time, this can affect your happiness, your relationships, and even your physical health.
That’s why being able to recognize the subtle and often sneaky signs of burnout is so important. Because when you’re able to tell that chronic stress is depleting you, you can take steps to avoid full-blown burnout or recover from it before it has a prolonged negative impact on your life.
If you think you might be experiencing burnout or are headed toward it, stay tuned for my next blog post. That’s where I’ll be sharing some of the best tips that I give my clients to help them avoid or recover from burnout.
In the meantime, grab a copy of my FREE Self-Love Weekly Planner. Battling burnout essentially comes down to giving yourself more love and care. So you can get a head start on tackling your burnout by using the Self-Love Weekly Planner to carve out space for self-love on a daily basis.
And if you haven’t done so already, follow me on my Facebook page Vera Velini – The Assertive Happiness Coach. That way, you’ll be among the first to hear about new blog posts, resources, and courses.
Until next time!
Vera
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